May 17, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good evening. I am on the, late for me usually, but expectedly so, 6:55PM out of the City.

As I write this, I am coming away from a meetup that I organized, which fizzled miserably. I think that the scheduling of the event was ill timed and in short notice. Also, on reflection, I should have picked a place early and stuck to the location. For next time, I have already picked the spot, the bartender, the time and the date. The turnout should be more noteworthy.

Right. I just had a lengthy conversation about Wrigley Field with the very same handsome vociferous man and wife Cubs Season Ticket holders that I encountered this morning on the Cattle Car 10:30AM into the City. In fact the two couples that made up the chatty foursome boarded separately, but ended up sitting together again, this time in the center of the car.

More interesting is the cute, young gay couple sitting jumpseat style in front of me. The young brunette fella, with his back to me, leaned forward to adjustbthe wind-swept hairdo of his compatriot.  This leads me to a tipsy thought. Shouldn’t we be working on more appropriate formal language when talking about LGBT couples?

Yes, I understand my designation for the community is outdated. I, as a member of today’s society, see no moral quandry in the relationship.  In any case, there is an obvious dominant male and female personas, as I understand it as a heterosexual,  in the couple’s interactions. I am trying to, internally, be respectful without pasting the heterosexual understanding (male-female; recessive-dominant). You may say, “why should you qualify yhe interaction with definitions and all that. Let them be!”, to which I reply “I am not trying to do anything to the relationship.”

In most cases, the idea of “male-female”  or “wife-husband” connotes gender, not preference. I presume the cunning linguists and entomologists in the LGBT community are putting together a new linguistic paradigm.

Ok. I’m done. Time to go be Parental. Oh, all the other dozen or so passengers, who look like extras for the Bull Durham movieset, are armed.

Happy Friday.  Safe Travels.

May 16, 2013 – Inbound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good morning. On the cattle-car, Cub fan, 10:30AM local into the City. A totally different scene.

The Chicago Cubs have a home game at 1:00PM. Diehard fans with their pinstripe jerseys, cargo shorts, ankle socks, dirty gym shoes, sunglasses, and plastic screw-top, mass-produced light beer bottles are here.

There is an attractive baby-boomer couple who are season ticket holders, getting happily drunk, hosting another boomer couple who are sticking to water. These four are the loudest of the travellers so far. They are telling stories of children passing their DL driving exams.

We are stopping at (nearly) every stop, so lots of new faces. Two of the three original Charlie’s Angels are here. The black-haired beauty was obviously planning to meet the blonde on the train car. Waiting on the redhead/auburn haired angel. After the initial hug and “OMG! This is going to be fun!”, both are tweeting. They haven’t said another word to each other, except to say that are excited and pleased to be in each other’s company.

A very serious looking, yet attractive traveller is sitting with her luggage in a seat three seats back. She is highly annoyed with the light beer drinkers for interrupting her contemplation. She looks like she’s headed for an extended writers holiday. Hemingway’s cottage in Florida. Whitman’s home in upstate NY. She looks as if she’s just finished an impact heavy Zumba-Kickboxing-Ultimate Warrior Princess workout and breakfast juice infusion before boarding the train.

Also here are Precious, Claude Ravines, Napoleon Dynamite, two members of a local Pearl Jam cover band, and three annoyed White Sox fans. Everybody is armed.

Happy Friday. Safe Travels.

May 16, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon. On the, wonderfully predictable, 3:55PM out of the City.

Before boarding, I have to walk a 1 1/2 block long trek from the entrance of the platform to the front car where I usually sit. The train I board is to my right. At about fifteen minutes before departure, an inbound train parks in the berth to my left, and all the passengers get down and make their way to the platform exit (behind me) and to street level.

Today’s disembarking gaggle was wonderful to observe as I sauntered to my desired train car. I saw about forty teenagers in various states of bare-skinned-ness sashay towards the exit, along with four different mothers, each with a single, wriggling, cantankerous and unyielding toddler, three or four sets of retirees pitying and chiding the aforementioned mothers, and three Buddhist monks in orange-ascetic homespun cloth, chanting hymns as they were nearly crushed by two bicyclists. If you were texting, you would have missed the menagerie.

Right. Perkins of Red Team is here. The formerly deceased Rebel Fighter Pilot is, like me, contemplating the gym while staring out the window. My excuse is that I have company coming for dinner this evening. My gut is pleased. My conscious is not. Nor is Perkins, who has found an similar excuse to lean on (heh), and is now getting back to his reading and market-watching. My only real thought (and this is bad, I know) is that Porkins need the gym visit more than I.

My Wagner-listening friend is here. I used to call him Nazi Ark Hunter, but I have found another co-commuter on the 4:30PM that better fits that moniker. He is eyeballing his iCrackerbot with amused interest, no doubt reading the review (with spoilers!) of the just released JJ Abrams sci-fi movie. (Since I haven’t been approached to help promote the movie, I won’t mention the name). His former boyfriend, and current Cosplay insider buddy, put a sarcastic, comedic, “Wow FX/Meh script” stamp of tacit approval, along with ideas for new Cos’ for next year’s Comicon.

A bookish but attractive blonde-redheaded woman is sitting four seats back and across the aisle. Late-twenties, glasses, perfect skin, ginger hair, sundress. She has a tall-boy Old-Style, but has a metabolism or a workout regimen to compensate. Unlike the other working stiffs in the car, she sits back-straight, like a dancer. I’m surprised a woman of obvious grace would prefer an old-man’s beer to say a craft brew or an import? Perhaps she’s a girl on a budget. I feel your pain, sister!

Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde is here. After yesterday’s celebration of the Washington Scandal fest, Hus far right personality is taking a break. His moderate personality is looking out then window and talking to himself, dissecting the arguments all around. Now the meds have kicked in and he fell asleep.

Also here are Clive Owen, Nancy Reagan, Adam Corrola, and Freddie Prinze, Sr. All are armed.

Happy Thursday.

May 16, 2013 – Inbound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good morning. On the 7:22AM into the City. Another gorgeous day, though you wouldn’t be able to tell from this crowd! Turn those frowns upside down, fellow Quiet Car riders!

First of all, there is a fellow five seats back and across the aisle that reminds me of a cross between Matt Damon and Simon Pegg. In essence, I’m looking at a CIA assassin. Sunglasses, totally inappropriate jacket for the weather, our brainwashing-finishing school reject wants to look cool, but falls woefully short. The sunglasses hide his eyes, which I imagine to be beady and piercing in a evil Ken doll sort of way.

Ah, we stopped to pick up the affluent, pretty passengers one stop over. Sitting in the rear Quiet car today, which gives me a perspective into gentrification. Before that, I must identify one woman who boarded at my stop. She has short hair, sunglasses, a triangular nose, and full but not duck-faced lips. She reminds me of Joan Cusack a bit. Also a hint of Carol Burnett for some reason. She is also wearing a jacket – was it really that chilly this morning? I really have to get rid of this weight. She seems…defensive? protective? I can’t quite place it. Her face is non-committal but her posture is that of protective defiance. Back straight but arms crossed. Looking straight ahead. I can’t figurenkt out.

From the next stop over sat an attractive woman next to Cusack/Burnett. Another amalgam – this time a bit of Emily Blount and Amy Adams. She’s a thirty something mom – a bit of baby fat on the jawline. She’s wearing a trenchcoat and, seemingly, nothing else except flip-flops. Who wears flip flops into the City except to go to the beach? Hmph.

Also here are the executive board of the Illinois Republican Party, a troll, two ex-marines, an elf on a laptop, Michael Ironside, and George Foreman. All are armed.

Happy Thursday. Safe Travels.

May 15, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good afternoon, everybody. On the, “there’s no place like home”, 3:55PM out of the City. Let’s get right to it.

Tony Danza is here. He’s with an equally studly co-worker. These guys are guy-guys. White collar bandits with blue collar bods and parents. When they sit, there is a specific orientation and position that is both socially acceptable between them and endemic to their personalities. Presume most people sit with their back at a right angle to their legs, for a moment. These two position their hips away from the back of the bench such that their back creates an obtuse angle (>90°). If they each were sufficiently stimulated,  their flagpoles would be pointing straight up.

Yet, these two will not…I repeat, WILL NOT … make unnecessary contact between each other. If the train sways, they’ve been programmed to avoid the accidental man-on-man bump. Tony Danza’s friend looks like Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI). A similar, Jay Cutler looking fellow just sat down opposite me in the jump seat, positioned himself in the similar obtuse angle, and has fallen asleep. I am actively avoiding any bumping of any kind for fear of some bro-man retribution reminiscent of a high school locker room hazing.

Benched War Correspondent is here. He has spent his day at the Federal Building tracking down IRS employees for a comment on the ongoing saga about the IRS targeting conservative political groups to see if they are really compliant with non-for-profit rules. Where are the good old fashioned sexual improprieties from the Executive Branch? I expect such behaviour from the Legislative side. Anyway, BWC is thinking the same thing. After Chechnya, Iraq, Mozambique, and Haiti,  his talents are being wasted on if a 501.c.4 application is valid? He’s probably drunk right now. Poor fella.

Speaking of political mess, Dr. Jeckyl-Hyde is beside himself with glee. He’s chatting – oh, my! almost audibly! – about the politics of the day.

(Dr.J-H) See! The economy is all BHO’s fault because his administration edited State Department memos for public consumption over the Libyan Chris Stevens killings, and has been listening in on the AP (wish the GOP thought of that! – ohwaitNixonsorry) and is restricting my favorite groups from getting non-for profit status! Aaand don’t touch my guns! (Something like that – I don’t lip read as well as I used to).

Needless to say there is a space of empty seats around him after the first stop. No sign of his RINO personality at all.

Also here are Mr. Rogers, Che Guevara, a cousin of the Shah of Iran, Michael Stipe, and Linda Lavin. All are armed.

Sleep well BRP.

Happy Wednesday. Safe Travels.

May 15, 2013 – Inbound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good morning. On the 7:20AM into the City. All is right with the world.

Did I happen to mention how much I dislike driving into the City? Let’s go there for a minute. I have had to drive into work the last two days and I am a mess! The logistical nightmare is one thing. From home base to work HQ is a distance of fifty miles or so. To traverse this distance takes on average one hundred minutes, or just under two hours. The train is half that time, door to door. Then one must factor in the costs – gas & parking – that could be dedicated to good food, fine drink or gifts for loved ones. All in told, give me the 7:20AM express every time.

Taye Diggs is here. This big bald beautiful man is seated four seats away in my line of sight. He is reading, or otherwise looking at, his iCrackerBot with pleasant but dignified interest. The glare from the fluorescent light shines off of his smooth head like a prism. Wonderful.

Also here is Miley Cyrus of Hannah Montana fame. This version of her is incognito, looking very no frills country girl. Actually, the woman, who is seated across the aisle one seat back along the window, reminds me of “Rose” from the Eccleston Dr. Who relaunch. Very no-nonsense every-woman with a little Wonder Woman underneath. She is napping.

Morgan Freeman’s stunt double is here. The tall, grey haired, mustachioed African American gentleman, whom I see every time I take this train, is dressed in a grey jacket, matching slacks and a white shirt that, when called to duty, can be accented with a smart looking tie that is hanging in his office. He looks content. He is at a station in life that he is comfortable. He has survived the RIF’s and restructuring at work because of his knowledge, his ability to please clients, and his access to all the secret files. Good work, man!

Also here are Teri Polo, a Khadaffi cousin, Peter Cushing, various IRS agents and their lawyers, and Shelly Duvall. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe Travels.

May 10, 2013 – Homeward Bound – #trainspotting#Chicago

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Good evening. On the, Jeezus is it that late already?, 5:45PM out of the City. I’m spent.

Robert Stack, the acclaimed actor with the amazing jawline, is seated three seats away across the aisle. Ginger blonde hair and brown beady but piercing eyes, the action hero is listening to his iCrackerBot, no doubt replaying his excellent reading of a Herman Woulk’s “Winds of War”. He is also reminiscing of his time in the Armed Forces, fighting Charlie and the gooks in the Pacific Theater. He gently strokes the grip of his pistol and smiles, looking forward to target practice at the range out in the far western suburbs.

Way in the middle of the car near the doors sits the Oscar winning actor Adrian Brody. Unfortunately, I am unfamiliar with his acting career. Safe to say that he has aged poorly and is watching adult movies on his iTablet. How the mighty have fallen. He may even accidentally pull a PeeWee Herman, which may jump start his struggling career. Or, he may end up as a contestant on Dancing with the Stars (shudder!).

Two Portuguese men are sitting in front of me, one seat over. I know they are Portuguese because they are speaking it to each other rapidly. I also know it’s Portuguese, vs Castellan or some dialect of a middle eastern language,  because I knew and lived among a lot of Portuguese immigrants when I lived and worked on the East Coast of the US. Both are pale-skinned, dark-brown haired men that remind me of Conquistadors of old, though the image is not quite correct as the Conquistadors came out of Madrid and not Lisbon.

Also here are Pink (as a bright blonde-white haired woman), Dan Akroyd, Mrs. Albert Finney, and Nikita Khrushchev’s mother. All are armed.

Happy Friday. Safe Travels.