(Good) Friday, April 18, 2014 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good evening. On the chatty 3:10PM godly express out of the City. A happy if small group of co commuters.

I don’t want to belabor you with the details.

From where I sit, Jane Lynch, Alan Arkin, and Miss Irish-American from the 1982 St. Patrick’s Day festival are chatting in the opposite jump seat. Tall-boy beers all around, a football-commercial brand in a 24oz can. They are chatting all about family and gossip. Nothing we haven’t heard before, or will hear at Easter Sunday events.

Happy Zombie-Prophet Reanimation Day to my Christian friends.

Robert Patrick is asleep just behind the three chatterboxes. I think he’s just reconfiguring his Mach-5 body for this time period. Let him sleep.

Two guys are sitting together two seats from me. The Bill Paxton looking fellow is leaning uncomfortably into Robert DeNero’s (nice nerdy) Scarface’s personal space. Scarface is looking NY way but not at me. Bill Paxton is looking at and talking to, Scarface’s politely smiling profile. Awkward.

Also here are Adrian Brody, Paul Giamatti, Dr. Ruth Westheimer, and a clean cut Don King. All are armed.

Go get your God on. Happiness to you on this High Holy (heh) Weekend.

(Good) Friday, April 18, 2014 – Inbound – trainspottingChicago

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Good morning and Good Friday to all.

I’m on the unobservant 7:30AM into the City. Thank God for the Godless. It seems that there are a lot of penitent riders on this train, as these good Christian folk are not here going to work, but instead spending the day contemplating nailing the Messiah. Happiness to my Easterner readership. You two have a good weekend.

The train just left the very very nice town station and is on its way into the City. Judy Baar Topinka, the Comptroller for the State of Illinois, is here. Evidently there is no rest for the political Christian, as she is on her way to look at the stack of unpaid bills the State has amassed, and start praying. Her violently orange-red hair is in a short crop style that looks a lot like a helmet. The front of her hair hangs over her brow. The sunglasses add a mysterious effect to her overall look. She’s wearing a conservative knee-high skirt and black hose or leggings. Very pro-forma.

A young James Woods is here. He is about eight seats back and looking out the window, yet holding up his iCrackerBot a half-an-arm’s distance from his face, glancing for a new text or bit of reply from whomever is on the other end. As he looked away from the device and out the window, he took a few moments to insert the first half – say, midway between the top and middle knuckle – of his left index finger into the clogged recess of his left nostril. He proceeded to rotate the semi-spelunked digit, with a vigorous circular motion, in an aerobic effort to dislodge the boulders of accumulated mucus found within. Satisfied with the results of this phase, and taking a brief moment to examine the cling-ons extricated from his effort, he inserted the prodigious finger, at about the same level, into his right nostril and continued the demolition operations.

Just after this public display of nasal hygiene, the iCrackerBot in his right hand must have presented him with a new request for his input, to which he diligently complied using the index finger of his left hand.

Also here are Lou Reed, Meghyn Kelly, and Anil Kapoor. All are armed.

Happy Easter and Blessed Passover to all.
Have a Good Friday.

Thursday, April 17, 2014 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon.

It’s nice to type that out.

I’m on the tried and true 3:58PM out of the City. What a fascinating group of people today.

A living embodiment of Henry Hill of “King of the Hill” cartoon fame is here. Rectangular prism of a head. White undershirt pristinely clean, blue jeans, boots, and even a beer are compliment the propane provocateur. He’s reading the now flimsy version of a popular weekly news magazine that has since turned into printed sound bites and weekly news schlock of 150 characters or less. The brownish-blonde hair is visibly receding even as I type letters into the iCrackerBot, as if his hair is like a prairie burn. Good luck with the “Oarloss” cream, Hank.

Peter Jackson is here. The Oscar nominated, self proclaimed Hobbit-stretcher is asleep, just finishing the final CGI touches on the ultra-extended directors cut edition where he finally explains, through the magic of movies and New Zeal, how long it took for Smaug the Maleficent to digest Thorin’s Aunt Threetle, including a documentary like (heh) analysis, hosted by none other than David Attenborough, of the final waste pellet of Aunt Threedle generated by the cavernous digestive tract of the Desolationist of Dale.

In all seriousness, there is an Oriental woman who looks to be in her early fifties from whom I cannot take away my gaze. She is not necessarily pretty or modelesque, but due to the way she did her makeup (or touch up), she looks like a victim of domestic abuse. Her right eye, underneath the socket, looks puffy, though this could be due to allergy season. Her left eye does not look equally inflamed, but just at the cheek bone, there is a rouge mark – from this distance it looks like a bruise. I cannot immediately see a twin for the mark on the right side of her face. She is diminutive, in keeping with the genetics of her ancestors. Her hair is cut boy short, and as if it was done at home and not by a trained professional hairstylist.

Hmph. Perhaps I notice too much detail that I lose myself, and forget that sometimes a bad makeup and hair job is nothing more than a bad makeup and hair job.

Also here are Regina King, Bald Chintee Flea, Escaped Union Soldier, Edward Snowden, Steve Rogers, and Timothy Geithner. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.

Thursday, April 17, 2014 – Inbound – trainspottingChicago

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Good morning.

On the 7:20AM into the City. I feel heavy. I say this because since visiting family and having family visit, I haven’t been keeping up with my diet and exercise regimen. The fault is mine to bear. I must make some quality time to work out. I’m going to purge tonight with a fresh veggies and fruit smoothie after working out.
Don’t let setbacks stray from the goal.

Right. That was a bit self-indulgent, wasn’t it? Enough pity partying.

Teri Polo is here! I’ve missed her. She said hello and gave me a smile before sitting down in front of me in the quiet car jump seat. She’s now asleep. She’s in her customary black jacket, black slacks, which look more like sweatpants, and gym shoes. She just got out of the shower and her hair is all wet. Her purse is a little black number with a brand pattern stitched or embossed into the material.

The passengers from the very very nice town just boarded. The front car and this Quiet Car are quite full. I find this crowd to be more my scene. They woke up early and want to take on the day. Let’s all do this.

Also here are a blindfolded Ashley Judd, Gus Van Zandt, Louis CK, and Bill Nye. All are armed.

Sorry its so short. Feeling frumpy.

Happy Thursday. Safe travels.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 – Homeward Bound – trainspottingChicago

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Good afternoon.

On the 3:18PM out of the City. I got a call today from my family. There was a change of plans and my Sister-In-Law and her family will need a ride to the airport. I wasn’t too busy, so I said yes.

Not my usual group of riders. Remember the shape shifter assassin from Star Wars Episode II that tried to off  Amydala, which instigated the early onset chase seen in Coruscant? Well, that woman is here. She has blonde hair and has not quite taken to her current form. She is stretching her mouth to the right side of her face. The current humanoid form is bothering her. She is more used to a longer snout like jaw and the eyes farther up and forward on her forehead. The central breathing and scent-sensor apparatus that is regionally called a “nose” is static and, to her, completely useless. Her hair is up on a high-mounted bun axial to the desired centerline of her mouth. She has now had to use an end appendage – finger – and is inserting this into the orifice to adjust the area and make it more stable. Damned humanoid forms. So structurally weak!

A male relative of the great Sam Donaldson is here. The fellow has taken on an early-60′s Sam D. look. For those of you who remember a less polarized time in journalism, where news producers and directors were more interest in presenting and analyzing facts than presenting pop culture unsubstantiated hypotheses as news, Sam was a conservative, but honest, broker of news on television. Our fellow is also well versed in the news both past and current, and would look wonderful on network news in the field as explosions, or better still summary executions, are occurring in the background. He would be a serious, handsome, and slightly older purveyor of happenings that can be presented and reacted to in thirty-second sound- and visual-bites.

Also here are Timothy Leary, Jimmy the Greek, Simon Figg, Angela Landsbury, and Mario Vitale. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014 – Inbound – trainspottingChicago

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Good morning.

On the 7:35AM into the City.

I’ve been away. I went to visit family and when I got back, other family members were in town to visit my family. All sorts of family and all fun!

I got back into town on Monday morning and took a rapid transit train back into Downtown. I think pressurized airplane air has a anesthetic effect on me that wears off only hours later. I was awake but numb on the train ride into Downtown, which continued throughout the day and into the ride home on the 3:55PM out of the City on Monday. I ended up napping. I took Tuesday off to hang out with the family. Now, I’m here with my fellow co-commuters and the fourteen of you that read this blog. Thank you and Hi, Mom!

A rather Tyler Perry-ish, yet stylish, Big Momma sat in the opposite jump seat, facing the vector of motion. She has been on her cell phone chatting the whole time. She’s wearing a Janet Jackson metal studded black cloth brimmed cap, a bright red jacket that looks to be made of a tent material, black leggings that are stretched to near-sheer coefficient forces, and gray gym shoes (or sneakers) with various patterns highlighted in neon yellow. She has already been reminded that this is a quiet car by a Christian Slater Interview With A Vampire looking character, who immediately went back to his eerie slumber after indignantly blurting “Ma’am, this is the Quiet Car!” which startled the rest of the other vampires.

Her Royal Highness Princess Catherine (nee Kate Middleton), the Duchess of Cambridge is here, sitting across from me in the jump seat. Even in more “commoner” clothing, HRH is resplendent with regal beauty and the trappings of her office. The Duchess has been diligent in getting her royal person back into lineage-producing shape. To blend in with us measly post-colonials, the Duchess has decided to wear a gray coat that ends just below her royal bottom, but will keep the Windsor-kiln nice and warm, as there is word that she is already producing another royal person. Black slacks and comfortable shoes completes the disguise. She is listening to historic royal proclamations from her grandmother-in-law from the 1570′s, Queen Elizabeth just took the throne.

Also here are Jane Byrne, Lord Louis Mountbatten, Jeff Foxworthy, and Caroline Kennedy. All are armed.

Happy Wednesday. Safe travels.

Friday, April 11, 2014 – Flight 630 – Skyward – Chicago to NY

Good Afternoon.

On the deeply discounted 5:53PM out of the City.

I thought to use this blog to report on the state of air travel as well. My thoughts so far about flying:

- what a fabulous vector for communicable diseases!

- very totalitarian microenvironment

- Emily Post, were she alive, would need to provide a whole extra book of parables to successfully meander the Lord of the Flies like pecking order of social hierarchy between the seasoned traveler, the “vacationists”, the migrants, the fly-by-nighters, and the first-timers.

- I really need to see that Clooney/White Witch movie about frequent flying, just to be aware of the terminal-ogy (see what I did there)

-Ohshit, they are telling me my smartphone may disable the plane’s guidance system! How, exactly, flight crew member?

More later, after I decompress.